It was the first day of class and a new student named Jose Hernandez, the son of a Mexican restaurant owner, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let’s start with going over American History. Raise your hand if you know who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’ “

She saw no one had their hands up except for Jose. Everyone else  had a blank look.

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“Patrick Henry, 1775.” Said Jose.

“Very good!” said the teacher. Then she asked , ‘who said that the government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’?”

Again, no one had their hands up except for Jose. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”

The teacher was upset by now and yelled , “Class, you should be ashamed! Jose, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!”

She heard someone whisper, “Screw the Mexicans!”

“Who said that?” she said loudly.

Jose put his hand up and said, “Sam Houston, 1836.”

Hearing that, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”

The teacher not sure asked, “OK! Now, who said that?”

Hearing this Hyper Jose, Pedro said, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, a student in the back yelled out, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”

Jose then  jumped out of his chair waving his hand and yelled out to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

Now every student in the class was angry.Someone at the back said ” you little sh*t. If you open your mouth and say anything else, i’m going to kill you”

Little Jose yelled at the top of his voice, ” Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him in 2004 “

Hearing this the teacher fainted.

The class gathered around the fainted teacher and someone said” oh s**t we’re screwed”

Little Jose quietly replied” The American People November 4, 2008 “.

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A lady that was about seven months pregnant got on a bus.
After sitting down she realized that the man sitting across from her, smiling at her. She felt uncomfortable and changed her seat.

Looking up , she realized that he was now grinning at her,  so she moved her seat again. Apprarently, watching her move made the man more amused.

She decided to move again. But the man still was looking at her and smiling.

After she had moved for the fourth time, the man burst out laughing so hard that he fell.

The women could not take it anymore and complained to the busdriver who called the cops and before the man knew he was arrested and taken to Court.

When the Judge asked the man the reason for his behaviour, here’s what the man had to say

‘Well your Honor, i was on the bus as you know, when the lady got on the bus
and sat across from me. Now right above her was a sign that said ‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’ and  so i grinned.

When she moved, she was sitting under a sign that said,
‘Herbal life ointment  will reduce the swelling,’ and this made me smile.

Then she moved again and this time sat under a deodorant sign that said,
‘Bill’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and  i could not barely control myself with that.

But, Your Honor, when she finally moved for the 4th time
and this time parked herself under a sign that said,
‘Goodyear All Season Rubbers could have prevented this accident!’

… and reading this  made me lose control and i bust out laughing .’

Hearing this, the Judge Dismissed the Case !

( This joke is meant for entertainment purposes only. The author has nothing against pregnant women and no harm intended against anyone. If you are offended please do not visit this site . However if you did like it, do feel free to send it to your friends. )